It is about 80 hours since I last smoked a cigarette (it feels like 548028883 hours).

This is the longest that I have gone without smoking, ever! Smoking has been my ugly best friend that I could not dream of living without.

With only 80 hours under my belt (don’t I get a token or something for that?) it is still early days but I am feeling strong.

The cravings rear their ugly heads every now and then, and my brain starts to make up stories about how only one will not hurt. BUT a line an ex-smoker friend told me, before I quit smoking, keeps me away from that smoke……

“We are both drug addicts. You can never, ever for the rest of your life, have a smoke. End of story.”

PS. (he is also now my sponsor who gets SMSs at 7am in the morning from me that read: “I REALLY, really want a smoke!”) Thx, J for the support!

PSS. MA if you read this I don’t want to discuss my giving up smoking until I am on like day 39 or something, love you x.

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I am trying desperately to sort out some stuff that I still have from my past, things that will free me from a time that I feel I was in the wrong mind set and also made some wrong decisions.

Its hard, what is even harder is I almost feel like the universe is working against me with sorting some of this stuff out. Like when I send emails with details about said things, the emails will bounce. Or the people will not return calls, or the paperwork will be wrong.

I feel like I am fighting a battle to get the most simple things done that relate to letting go of these things.

So here it is my plea with the universe….

Dear Universe,

I have chosen to move forward from ‘these things’.

I know that it is the right thing to do and it will allow other doors in my life to open. It would be really great if you could stop fighting me on these issues and actually help me by sorting out whatever it needs to be for these things to sorted out and be gone out of my life.

I want them to be gone and so should you.

So help me out. I am more than willing to do my fair share of the work.

Thanks
S

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