How Do You Do It?
I really need some advice ladies!
I am exhausted; I have been up since 6am, was at work by 7am after only going to bed at probably 11pm last night due to a very long body corporate meeting, it is now 8pm and I am still working at home. This has been my life for the past two weeks.
Let me just give you a snap shot of my reality at the moment:
I have two weeks of work on my desk, that all needs to be done ASAP. I recently decided to go back to working for myself and in the process I have decided to follow my passion and start a few projects I am extremely passionate about. I have managed to secure a full time contract which I work on by day and then I am trying to work on my other projects at night.
And to be very honest, I went to work today looking like an absolute mess, something I promised I was not going to do this year and I am not proud of at all! And by mess let me just give you a few of the details: my hair was pulled back and tied up very messily; I have black nail polish that is chipped on my finger nails, I wore jeans and flats to work today and I put no makeup on other a bit of base. I work in a very large corporate during the day and I actually felt crap about myself today, as the other ladies in the office walked in at 8am looking like they walked off a fashion shoot.
I don’t feel like I have time to go to gym, make a nice meal when I get home, lie in the bath and read a magazine or just relax at the moment. My poor BF has been so neglected over the past week, I realised it today when I arrive home and did not even give him a kiss and ask how his day was! I can go on and on, but you get the picture, and I am sure a lot of you have been faced with a very similar situation.
I see people around me with so much more on their plate and they somehow make it work. I mean I don’t even have kids (I really want kids but when I have a day like today, I really don’t know how the working Mom’s do it).
So back to my question that I need help with – How do you do it? Where you do find the time to do everything that needs to be done.
How do you:
- Arrive at work with you hair and makeup done and in an accessorised outfit?
- Find time to have a pedi, manicure, massage, facial etc on a regular basis?
- Get home and cook dinner and still finish off things that need to be done?
- Go to gym 3 to 5 times a week?
- Keep your handbag in order?
- Keep on top of your work load?
- Go to doctor and dentist appointments?
- Balance your social, work and personal life?
- Find time for just you and your partner in between everything that is happening?
Yes I have a million questions, but I really feel like I am missing out on some sort of secret here that a lot of women have discovered. They somehow manage to keep the wheels turning, with more on their plate than me, yet I feel like my wheels are about to come off at any stage…..
Please share your secrets with me?
Take a peep into the life of a single mom working for herself.
I generally don’t have hair & make up done & I don’t own any accessorised outfits.
I don’t have pedi, mani or any other spoils – there’s no time
I need to feed my son so cooking is compulsory
I don’t do gym, no time or money
Handbag is ok, but filled with kid entertainment
Work is a priority so I have to keep on top of it, but it does get on top of me sometimes
I have had a broken tooth for 2 months now – need to make an appointment
I don’t have much social life, which is why Twitter and blogging is so important to me
There is no time for just him and me, cos his life is just as hectic
So what does this tell you? YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Hope this helps
Hunny, it comes with practice and it’s an ongoing process.
Firstly, you need to learn to delegate as much as possible so that you only have to oversee and manage.
Secondly, you need to devide your task list into 4 catogories.
1. High Urgent& High Important
- example tax deadline, traffic fine summit
2. Low Urgent & High Important
- setting up meetings and building client relationships
3. High Urgent & Low Important
- admin and filing
4. Low Urgent & Low Important
- any form of escapism
You want to work in No 2 all the time. Thus take a few days to sort out No 1 and get it done. Outsource No 3 because it will actually save you money rather than costing you money. Focus on No 2 and stay clear from getting stuck in No 4.
When it comes to cooking. If you cook for more than one person, get them involved. If you are cooking for yourself I suggest you:
1. Portion your food as you buy it (like chicken breast so you don’t have to defrost everything at ones)
2. Cook for two and take the second portion for lunch for the next day.
Then on the social and training side:
1. Invite your friends to go for a walk/run/ what ever you want to train in, with you. This way you kill 2 birds with one stone.
2. Walk stairs rather than taking the lift
3. Sit on an exercise ball rather than a normal chair. This way you are always incorporating your core and it is a training session all by itself. You also get to stretch out those sore muscles easier from an exercise ball.
On the personal appearance I have always been a believer of simplicity. Use minimal base and stick to mascara and lipglass alone rather than an entire due. It also removes much quicker and I believe it is much healthier anyway to not wear too much make up. Thus you will have to start loving yourself just the way you are. Nice!!
On the relationship side. MAKE TIME. Send sexy (even naughty) sms at the oddest times just as reminders that he is still no matter how busy you are, still the most important person in your life.
Very important is to always single task. No matter what people tell you, you always get much more done when you focus on one thing at a time.
Hope this helps and let me know how it goes.
Alot is spelt that that! NOT ALLOT!!!
Shoo! This is a hectic question. I totally know how you feel.
Schedule regular weekends away and a big holiday so you can look forward to something
I think you need to find a balance but here are some ideas – in no particular order.
1) You need to be disciplined
2) Break your week days into 3
– 8 hours sleep
– 8 hours work
– 8 hours play/you time
3) Don’t plan weekends – go with the flow
4) Plan and layout your outfits the night before
5) Create a schedule
– For work – book meeting & work tasks
– For play – book socials, gym, etc
6) Plan your work – On a Friday afternoon or Monday morning
– Write a list of all the work you need to do for the next week
– Prioritise that list (yes you can’t do it all)
– Book tasks in your diary
7) Give yourself routine – wake up and go to sleep at the same times, etc
9)Things like pedi/mani/hair/dentists/doc – book them a month in advance – have regular appointments setup
10) Schedule time every week to do admin (paperwork and clean handbag, etc)
Hope this helps, but remember you must find something that works for you!
#:-D
I’m no woman, as much as I’d sometimes like to be.. *drifts off* I want to say wake up earlier… But I think that’s just mean, especially coming from me, the person who rolls out of bed when you’re thinking about having lunch. How much does your BF help around the house? Crack your whip and get him to do some dishes / washing / ironing etc etc! More time for you
I wish I knew the answers. I am one of “those” moms – hair a constant mess in a pony tail – yes, even tied back it’s a mess!; Never wear make up – but I don’t like it; don’t do gym; feed the kids, sometimes remember to feed myself; exercise – I have 2 kids, I am too tired to actually drag myself to voluntary torture:P Etc etc…the list goes on. I will be looking at the comments tho, hey, maybe soon I will be one of those “yummy mummy’s”?
LOL
Thanks Anon.
After trying to figure our exactly what you were trying to tell me in your comment.
I have corrected my wrong doing and learnt a lot today, for example: The actual correct use of the word is – a lot and not alot as you pointed out.
Please see:
http://motivatedgrammar.wordpress.com/2007/10/24/a-lot-about-alot/
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/761667.html
We are all human and make mistakes, so was the exclamation marks and capital letters that necessary?
I’m linking to my “other” blog so you can read my whining for a change… that’s how I cope… and in answer to your questions:
* Arrive at work with you hair and makeup done and in an accessorised outfit? – it only takes 10 minutes
I only cook simple meals during the week that cook in less than half an hour.
* Find time to have a pedi, manicure, massage, facial etc on a regular basis? I don’t anymore post kids… if I’m lucky it happens every 6 months. Pre-kids once a month on a Saturday. That’s what weekends are for, and early afternoons every now and then
* Get home and cook dinner and still finish off things that need to be done? Magic
* Go to gym 3 to 5 times a week? Doesn’t happen post kids
* Keep your handbag in order? Who really cares?!
* Keep on top of your work load? You just do.
* Go to doctor and dentist appointments? I go later afternoon or early mornings during the week
* Balance your social, work and personal life? It’s precarious
* Find time for just you and your partner in between everything that is happening? Pass at the moment.
okay, snorted A LOT at anon. secondly, I often have no idea how I’ve managed to get even the basics done at the end of each day, nevermind play an epic game of dinosaurs with my kid. I’m a single mom who works full time and tbh I couldn’t do it without beloved housekeeper.
have you thought about cutting down on your Twitter/blogging time? as awesome as it is, it’s the first thing that gets scratched off my list if it’s a busy day.
sometimes when i look at the load of some women, i can start beating myself up for all the things i procrastinate about, don’t get to, put off till…
you’re certainly not alone. i was up till 12h30 last night, up before 6h30 and i’m sitting here knackered! however, i still need to look at scripts and learn words for tomorrow, finish a number of online things, scary forms to fill out, etc, etc…
a number of people have made great suggestions. maybe i’ll try some of them.
sorry i can’t help. *shrugs shoulders*
Want me to hi 5 Anon in the face for you???
My answer to all your questions…..stress induced insomnia:)
Also, i’ve noticed since i started keeping record of everything that needed to be done, and prioritising those things, i tend to get a lot more done. I think you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that most of us have our off days. I wear hardly any make-up, but the little i do wear often gets done at work as i’m usually in a rush to get to work. Try and surround yourself with people who build you up and who make your life worth living. These are the people who will understand when you can’t spend all your time with them and they will support you through your busy times.
At the end of the day, the one thing that keeps me going….a positive attitude..it makes the world of difference.
P.S. Yay for the blog!!!!!!
Well, you do have a lot of questions….I know you work like a maniac and work is your priority but sometimes you just need to put work aside.
With doctor’s and dentist’s etc try find ones as close to your home or work and find ones that open early or work late, that way you can get an appointment before work has even begun. I have to visit a periodontist ever 3months so I pre book all my appointments and make sure I get Monday morning 8am, then I am back at work by 8:45. Plus when it comes down to it, it’s just 1hr out of your day so just put work aside and make 1hr available for your health.
Gym is a whole different story. I make sure I go 3 times a week but its usually 4. I do classes so its a set time everyday usually at 4:45 for an hour….it’s just another hour out your day, you can always pop back to work afterwards to finish up some work and you will probably feel a bit more relaxed after some exercise. The only reasons I skip gym is when I am exhausted or we have early dinner plans, otherwise I drag myself there no matter what.
For dinner I cook simple quick things like pasta, which we eat most nights, stir fry’s and then the odd chicken thing that I just pop in the oven and then I carry on with house stuff while it all cooks.My meals never take longer than 45min. My dinners are usually done and eaten, dishes washed by 8pm and then I go straight to bed….I am lucky that I don’t need to do any of my office work at home so I am able to get a lot more sleep than those that bring work home. If I don’t get my 8hrs I don’t function so sleep is a huge priority and I make sure I get tons of it.
I don’t have mani’s, pedi’s etc …too expensive and time wasters, I do my own pedi’s and facials at home while watching a movie or something on a Sunday night. I do have a back massage say once a month at my gym which is 45minutes which I do over lunch or late afternoon.
In the office I have very strict systems, my desk is always clear and I keep all my files in alpha order stacked around my office floor which I do as per documents coming in. I spend a lot of time waiting on other people to email me documents before I can actually process anything so nothing I do is vitaly urgent. I think keeping a clear desk is NB though, if you walk into your office and all you see is a major disaster on your desk you immediatley feel flustered and overwhelmed so try make a system to free open your desk and use the list method to get through things like Urban Angel mentioned.
Hope this helps but I can’t compare my work load to yours as I know I have an easy job compared to you.
“a lot” is two words.
something i’m coming to grips with this last week, having just started the whole office job vibe is that planning really does maximise time.
and making lists of things you have to do really does allow you to keep an eye on what’s on your plate, and how urgent it is.
in terms of getting to work looking fab, i find it’s easier if i pick out what i’m going to wear the day before. so just before i go to bed, i stand in front of my cupboard and take out two possible outfits, with shoes and decide on what earrings (that’s the extent of my accessorising) to wear with the outfit.
keep it simple, and make sure the outfit and shoes are still comfy. in terms of make up, make sure everything is easily accessible so you can do it in the morning before you brush your teeth – stick to base, a little eyeshadow and some mascara. keep a lipgloss in your handbag as well.
in terms of keeping your handbag under control, that’s an ongoing thing – if you dont need it, toss it. don’t let crap accumulate. deal with it as it happens.
i get all my stuff, and all the kid’s stuff ready the night before. i make his bottles, pack his school bag and make my lunch for work, the night before. it really only takes 10 mins and is worth the extra-time in the morning, i promise.
my alone time – i usually wake up an hour before everyone else in my household – it sucks, it blows and it reaaaally is hard not to press the snooze button, but i force myself out of bed when my alarm goes off. pressing the snooze button only results in you feeling more tired than ever. because a sleep cycle is roughly 90mins long, and waking up before you’ve even properly started another sleep cycle is what makes it so rough. so ban the snooze button and push yourself out of bed.
ito of cooking – we usually take it in turns – and it’s simple easy stuff – grilled chicken and salad, spaghetti bolognaise, grilled veggies etc – anything grilled is quick and healthy. stick to loads of fresh stuff that you don’t have to cook. or you could have a cook-a-thon on the weekend and cook a few meals, and freeze them. then you just take them out in the morning, put them in the fridge and all you have to do is warm them up when you get home.
ito of together-time for the bf and i – that’s always tricky. but sometimes you just have to put down what you’re doing (usually work) and *make* time for him. i agree with the comment above re sexy/dirty sms’s. and phone calls, just to say i love you, during the day are always welcome.
ito gym – wtf is that? i have a two year old who is more active than i’ve ever been in my whole life. he keeps me on my toes. i might join a gym or something later on in the year, once i’ve got this whole work/life/relationship/etc routine properly under my belt. but i doubt it.
ito manicures/pedicures etc – no time for that either, i have a kid. but it is something i would like to make time for. if not a manicure/pedicure then at least an eyebrow wax and eyebrow and eyelash tinting – i loved that.
ito of social life – always takes a back seat when you’re a parent/in a relationship. which is why i love twitter/fb/blogging/the internet in general – i can keep up with all my chinas, without having to see them.
i hope this helps a little – don’t worry, you’re not the only one who feels snowed under by life at times!
xx